Balls.

Okay sure, I know nothing about sports. But I do know that they're really popular with the kids these days. And other people too. Maybe.

I also know these things:

1. The Dynamo won their CONCACAF quarterfinal game against Guatemala's Municipal team last night. So there's that. Plus, while witnessing this, I consumed an artificially-colored bright orange margarita. You know. Team spirits.

2. The Final Four. Or Sweet Sixteen. Or Awesome Eight. Or whatever. It's happening now. And if you're like the HcQ, you are flying to Tulsa to watch your favorite team that's playing in Washington D.C. And really, I don't ask. I just assume that televisions and high-definition technologies are far superior in Oklahoma. Because obviously that would be so.

3. I just heard about this excellent way to potentially win tickets to the 2008 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Championship South Regional Finals on both March 28 and March 30 2008. Check it out. If you can't watch the games televised in Tulsa, you might seriously consider trying to win this chance to see them live in Houston.

4. Over an impromptu dinner tonight with these girls, I learned that Rockets Power Dancers might have drunkorexia because they allegedly love a new drink that I like to call The Drunkorexia because it only contains 40 calories. That's less than 100-calorie Pringles, y'all. Do the math. And making the soon-to-be-famous Drunkorexia, is actually simpler than math. Of course. You just combine water, Absolut Citron and two lemon segments in a glass. And bam. Drunkorexia. Serve it with heaping yummy bowls of air. And enjoy.

5. Of course, if all sports featured antics like this, I'd watch more sports.

6. And that's all I've got on sports.